The Truth and Tips For Supporting A New Dad I Wish I Knew About

So, there’s, like… another person in this equation aside from you and your baby. And, like… that person is kind of important.

This guy is called “dad”.

Yeah, don’t get me wrong, compared to what mommy goes through during pregnancy and labor, it’s easy and understandable that dads are told to shut up and go get her the ice cream with pickles like she asked (and they damn well better).

But, in all honesty… daddies are going through some emotional stresses and pressures of their own, and they try, and are expected to be, pillars of absolute strength regardless of their own fears.

Watching my husband’s adventure as a support system through my pregnancy and labor, and then as a new and incredible daddy, I wanted to write a little something in honor of all of the great daddies out there. Because even though they may not be going through what we go through physically and hormonally as moms… they still deserve some compassion and support.

I am so grateful for the strength, love, and support that my husband showed me. I mean, he sat there holding my vomit bags, encouraging me, and feeding me water and ice chips and still made me feel like a superstar.

That may not seem like a lot, but when you’ve been in labor for hours… that was as good as gold.

The strength, love, and support he showed in the face of my C-Section (even though that was the thing he was most afraid of happening), all while always wearing his goofy, way-too-cocky smile, helped keep me calm.

During these, now, almost five months as parents, my guy has been an amazing daddy and an amazing husband. In honor of him, I wanted to write this post in order to give some insight into how I have been working to show him the same support that he has shown me!

As new moms, we’re super tired, and super stressed, and super emotional, and all of the above. It’s easy to forget sometimes that our dopey dudes are feeling the same way, and might be in as much need of our validation as we are of theirs.

Tips For New Moms On How To Support Their Partner

tips for new moms

Patience

Daddy isn’t always going to understand the physical and emotional whirlwind your hormones are putting you through. Especially in those early week, when you’re both dog-tired and all of the learning curves you’re trying to navigate are in full swing. It might be easy to get a bit frustrated with your guy if you catch him snoring when you’re waking up every single time the new baby moves- believe me, I’ve been there, and it’s okay to feel frustrated– just try not to kill them if you can.

Perhaps the most important gift you can give to a new dad is patience. Don’t feel guilty for getting frustrated, lol… I mean, no one can push our buttons like our significant others, but just bear in mind that they have no idea what they’re doing either. They’re as scared as we are, and they ARE trying.

Communication

As with any relationship, clear communication is key to its health and prosperity. Don’t be afraid to be very clear about what you need your spouse to do. They couldn’t read your mind before- and now it’s even more impossible (we know that WE hardly know what the hell is going on thanks to sleep-deprivation, ourselves).

Tell your new dad/support person EXACTLY what they can do to help make things easier on you. Sit down after you put the baby to bed and work up a plan.


For example, my husband and I decided that, since I would be working from home, and he would continue to work outside of the home(for the time being) that I would handle the “overnight” shift (as well as the time he was at work), and once he got home we would swap. I would go to my office and work, and he would put Jakey to bed and respond to his needs until it was time for OUR bedtime.

And on his day’s off, we switch roles so that I can get some MUCH- MUCH- MUCH needed sleep.

Compassion

Like I said, your new dad/support person suddenly has all of this pressure to be a good daddy/parent just like you are. They might feel powerless if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, and they can feel as overwhelmed trying to figure out how to be a rock for their new mommy and baby.

Honestly, they’ll NEVER be as tired as you are. With everything that your body went through during and after pregnancy and due to the amount of energy and stress that goes into producing breast milk… it is definitely hard to compare…

But it’s STILL important to ask them once in a while how they’re feeling and reinforce how proud you are of them. They very well might be struggling with something (stuff from their past, issues with their own parental stuff- believe me, shit comes up when that perfect little human is put in your arms), but they’re too afraid to burden you with their emotions.

Be sure to tell them that they’re doing a good job. You’ll be amazed at how much that will mean to them. 

Confidence

As a new mommy, it’s easy to just say “let me do it” or “I’ve got it” when it comes to caring for our babies. Our protective instincts are in overdrive, and it’s absolutely INCREDIBLE how someone can literally shit and throw up on you all day long, and you still love every minute of it.

Even so, give dad/support person the chance to build their confidence and bond with the baby. Pump some breast milk so that they can have that special time of feeding.

As mentioned above, designate responsibilities between the two of you. New dad/parent needs to have that confidence as much as you do, and whether you want to admit it or not… you need a break, girl. You’re still just a human. You’ll need rest, you’ll need food- you’ll need a shower.

Give your partner the opportunity to say “I can do it”.

Honesty

Honesty goes hand in hand with communication but in a slightly different way. There ARE going to be times when your support person is just… getting under your skin- or you might be feeling like you need more help than you want to admit.

You need to be frank about it. If your partner is doing something that is making you frustrated (unintentionally or not) tell them quickly so that it doesn’t build into resentment. You two are a team, and sometimes we do things that we don’t realize annoy the other person.

Give your partner the respect of expressing your issues in a clear and mature way. It’s easiest to do this BEFORE you start to get angry. Sit them down, explain what you’re feeling, and they will hear you.

Remember, you’re BOTH sleep-deprived and stressed. It doesn’t mean that you need to shut up and deal… it just means that you both need to take a deep breath and exhibit the maturity to address any frustrations before they bubble over into resentment.

All in all, the journey that is parenthood will be the most awesome thing you will ever experience.

… and watching your partner blossom as a parent will make you fall in love with them in ways you didn’t think were possible.

Your love created the life you both now take responsibility for, and your love will be the foundation for your baby’s health and happiness.

You both are doing amazing. YOU are being an amazing mommy even if you DO snap at your partner once in a while… cuz you’re gonna.

But, hopefully, you’ll keep this post in the back of your mind, and it can help you when things might get a bit frustrating… cuz they’re gonna.

After all, due to good old Corona, you two might be spending WA-A-AY more time together in the house than usual, so it’s good to try and keep things in perspective. If nothing else, this “social distancing” and “self-quarantining” is a great way to spend some quality time together and grow.

Please, please- please stay safe.

Don’t be a dick and hoard all the toilet paper and other necessities.

And wash yo damn hands.

Love ya all!

8 Organizing Tips For New Moms

Hello There!

You’re friendly neighborhood noob mom here! I hope that your start of 2020 has been fantastic, and with a budding new year, we’re all rearing to improve some aspect of our lives for the better.

Some of us want to drop that last ten pounds, or clear out the clutter we’ve been compiling in our basement!

Well, if you’re a new mom in a new decade (like myself), doing any kind of spring cleaning feels overwhelming. When you bring home a new baby, you’re often desperate just to make sure you have all of the necessities in arms reach.

If you’re anything like me, my first week or two was baby supplies everywhere, dirty baby clothes in a pile, and far too many dishes in the sink.

Frankly, I’ve mentioned previously that clutter and a lack of organization can actually cause me more anxiety than not. I tend to be someone who finds peace and relaxation in cleaning- and especially in knowing there’s a place for everything. Clutter, almost literally, makes it impossible for me to relax.

This post is for those of you who, like me, need a bit of organization in your life, but could use a few quick tips to get you started.

Welp, I’m here to try and lend a hand, fellow noob mom, and so I would like to share with you my…

8 Organizing Tips For New Moms

We’ll talk about products and tactics that have helped me keep my house(and my mind) neat and tidy(almost- I am still a new mom with very little time lol).

Anyway, let’s get it started!

Set Up Multiple Stations

So, one of the most significant contributors to an organized lifestyle is convenience. It’s much easier to stay neat when you make it easy on yourself. When it comes to baby stuff, for example, you’re much less likely to put baby clothes in a hamper if it’s close by, instead of only upstairs in the baby’s room.

With that in mind, my first suggestion is to set up at least two “baby stations” in your home. Like, one upstairs, and one downstairs, for example.

Personally, I have all baby-related necessities in:

  1. Jake’s room
  2. My Room Under His Bassinet
  3. Family Room

In the Family Room, I simply purchased one set of 3-tier plastic drawers from Target, and I stored diapers and wipes in one drawer, extra outfits, and accessories in the second; and finally supplies like pacifiers, gas relief drops, diaper rash cream, etc… in the last.

Just the stuff I know I am most likely to be using often enough that running up to Jake’s room would be inconvenient to do 20 times a day.

By having these drawers, I’m able to use my supplies and put them right back in the drawer without having to put in too much extra effort.

I also have a hamper for dirty clothes, and a diaper genie in my family room and my bedroom, too.

Define A Specific Area In Your Kitchen For All Baby-Related Feeding Products

I mentioned the wire countertop storage drawers I ordered in my “C-Section” blog, and they were PERFECT for storing all of Jake’s eating accessories.

However, I also made sure that the area I set these drawers up had enough room to make sure I had a bit of extra room for any additional products that wouldn’t fit in the drawers like distilled water and formula.

I also emptied out a specific drawer close by that I store my extra breastfeeding accessories.

Having all of my baby’s feeding accessories in one place makes the, incredibly convenient and easy to reach, while also stored in a spot that doesn’t make my eye twitch from an over-cluttered countertop.

Make A Breastfeeding Basket

I actually need to take my own advice on this one a bit better than I have been. Regardless of whether you’re pumping, breastfeeding, or both, it’s an excellent idea to set yourself up with a little breastfeeding basket that you can keep all of the things you need to have in easy reach.

For example:

  • Water Bottle
  • Easy-To-Eat Snacks
  • Tissues
  • Burp Rags
  • Daily Vitamins(to help you remember to take them)
  • Phone Charger
  • More snacks(I get super hungry from pumping)

Basically, yet again, just anything that you would like to have on-hand when you’re hands are full with a baby, or you’re tied down to a breast pump.

You can get yourself a nice bag or basket that you can store closeby without having to have all of your supplies lying around.

You can also make sure that you “restock and replenish” your basket right before bed each night; that way, you don’t have to worry about trying to get all of your supplies together with a hungry, angry little baby wiggling around in your arms.

Take That Extra Step

I know pretty much all of my previous organizing tips were entirely about helping you avoid any extra effort, but this one is a bit different.

Think of this tip as a “why do tomorrow what you can do today”. If you finish a bowl of cereal, do your best to get up and bring it to the sink- because, eventually, your coffee table could be a smorgasbord of all of your snacks and meals.

If you’re getting dressed, take the extra minute just to tidy up your bed. It doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, I once heard the phrase: “done is better than perfect,” and it really resonated with me. I find myself repeating it in those moments when I’m tempted to neglect a small task that is inconvenient but not impossible.

Hence: even if you don’t have the time or energy to wash the cereal bowl right then and there… at least it’s in the sink and not on the coffee table.

Keep 2 Diaper Bags

Excessive, maybe… but there’s nothing more ass-clenching than being a new mom and realizing you’ve forgotten the diaper bag as your baby has shit all over themselves in the middle of the mall.

A really great way to always be prepared is to create two diaper bags, and keeping one in your car, and one in your support person’s car.

I even have a diaper bag for long trips and one for quick trips!

Keep A Journal

Now, I’ve never personally been a big journaler; and that’s mostly because I choose to paint or draw instead. Even so, I think journaling is an incredible way to relieve stress and help you work through any sticky shit in your soul!

But, if journaling isn’t your thing, then my advice on this tip is just to find something to help you declutter your brain.

It may seem impossible to find a moment to yourself, and when you DO finally get the baby down for a nap, you’re compelled to either scramble around trying to tidy up or get that well-deserved nap.

By all means, take that nap… HOWEVER, I truly recommend you make more of an effort to set aside some of the baby’s naptime for your emotional organization over home organization. 

Even if it’s just fifteen minutes of journaling, or painting, or meditation – HELL, even if you just feel like sitting down and watching youtube… just make an effort to do something that helps you decompress.

HELL, find a NEW hobby like journaling or painting! Being a new mom means a lifetime of new things- why not take a chance to take on something just for mom?

If you’re interested in learning more about the benefits of Journaling, and how to get started, then I emphatically recommend you visit my friend over at Paper Thoughts

They are an incredible resource for anyone who would love to express themselves in a creative and therapeutic capacity.

But their work is especially beneficial and geared toward educating children about healthy coping skills!

paperthoughtsprogram.com is full of resources and prompts to get you inspired to write!

Create A Cleaning Routine With Your Partner

Considering the fact that you’re reading this blog, it is very likely that you like things in order. There are very few ways of maintaining an orderly day that is more reliable than creating a routine.

When you create an easy-to-follow cleaning routine, your household can be ahead of any messes each day. After all, it’s better to tidy as you go, than to be faced with a day’s worth of dishes(back to the cereal bowl idea).

If you want an easy sheet to introduce to your family organizing routine, check out my… 

FREE

Easy Organization Schedule Sheet

With this easy to use printable, you and your partner can set up a concise and successful cleaning routine that won’t make anyone feel frustrated or unappreciated.

Just plug your email below, and you’ll receive the FREE print out in your inbox!

    Donate

    With the new decade in full swing, a cleanse can sometimes be the best medicine. Not to mention, you itty bitty baby is going to grow far too quickly! 

    A great way to keep organized is to get rid of as much unnecessary clutter as possible. Take a few hours throughout the day(as you have them) to go through your closet during nap time, or when the baby is relaxing, and sort through your old clothes to figure what you really need to keep.

    via GIPHY

    This not only lets your air out your environment but do some good by donating your quality items that others might need.

    It’s a win-win, guys!

    Goodness knows we need a lot of goodwill to be spread around in these turbulent times.

    I hope that this list of organizing tips have been helpful. If you have any cool organizing advice for your fellow moms, mention it in a comment below!

    L 2 Mom is all about supporting each other, so don’t be afraid to chime in if you think of a super cool tip to share!

    Anyway, have an awesome rest of your day, and if you have been enjoying the L 2 Mom blog, then please be sure to share it with your friends!

    Talk To Ya Soon!